Ineptitude

Hey everybody!

Sorry about last week not including anything on the blog. (Or should I say you’re welcome?) Well I had some business to take care of. That business was to take a stroll down memory lane or more specifically take a drive down 13th in Fargo and 8th in Moorhead, MN. 10 years ago I was finishing up my education up there and was surviving in my meal plan that I’m still paying for and ramen. At the end I literally ate ramen every time my meal plan ran out even though I had 2 jobs. Then I moved home and lived in my parent’s basement. The End.

What was also happening ten years ago Denny Green was finishing up his tenure at the Minnesota Vikings after a 5-11 season. We beat the Packers 35-13 once that year with someone named Doug Chapman running the ball and Daunte Culpepper taking or fumbling the snaps with his incredibly small hands.

Thinking about what the future would be after Denny Green, no one may have guessed that ten years later the franchise would have gone through 3 coaches, numerous scandals(someone with Randy Moss and some without), Brett Favre being QB for the Packers and repeatedly schooling us except for 1 playoff game which is now only remembered because Randy Moss became a mime after a decisive touchdown, then Favre became our QB, got piledrived, suplexed, and DDT after the play was over and took us to a field goal to go to the Superbowl, decided he couldn’t run 5 yards and then it was all over. Now we have to face the defending Superbowl champions, with Asher Allen (because Chris Cook is 6 foot 2 inches of idiot) trying to stop the Packers 7 wide receivers who get the ball, with a rookie quarterback playing his first game, while the state struggles to decide whether to build the team a new stadium while the NFL says get a stadium or the team will probably move to LA.

In no way am I compulsively eating chicken and oriental flavored ramen repeatedly while listening to “Drops of Jupiter” and “Lady Marmalade” over and over on a black and white screened Ipod with a v - neck Abercrombie and Fitch t-shirt on. Is it too late to sign Doug Chapman?

I wanted to talk stadiums as there is a chance all this hand wringing will be done and the LA Vikings will play the San Diego Chargers twice a year. It’s an interesting discussion as you look back at other stadium deals in the last decade and how some insight from the NBA can add a different perspective to how we talk about it. The main sentiment here is no taxpayer should have to pay for a private business especially in an American economic equivalent to M. Night Shyamalan’s last 3 movies (recent pop culture reference!)  because the American people have decided to simultaneously treat their money either like Gordon Gekko (80s reference!), Latrell Sprewell (90s!), or Lenny Dykstra (80s and 90s!). For those of you playing the Superbowl Shuffle pop culture reference drinking game you are now drunk. Pretend reader, do not blame me for playing a game that no one could have possibly invented that fictionally inebriated you based on my delusions. The American economy sounds like this right now:



ANYWAY, we’ll talk stadiums later.


Since I didn’t have a Week 6 preview and I got a lot of calls, emails and letters asking for one. Here it is:

Week 6:

Kardiac Kidz vs Bangers - The Kidz will make their run starting today as they have Miles Austin back against questionable NE defense and a promising Victor Cruz seems to be the leading receiver in NY. The Bangers lineup...I mean look at it....yuck...50 points max this week.

Big Ben’s Lifecoaches vs Mono Peligroso : the Lifecoaches are need to get to .500 but Ahmad Bradshaw will be shut down this week so the hope is that Chad Ochocinco travels back in time and switches places with Chad Johnson from 2005 to help the cause. On the other side expect Peyton Hillis to have a breakthrough game. Being on the cover of Madden seems to inspire those players to greatness the next year.

Team Boy’s Club vs Brookdale Mall - This is my choice for the highest scoring game of the week as Brookdale Mall has running backs that are playing tough defenses and Boys Club running backs have the chance to score big against easy defenses. Expect James Starks and Adrian Peterson to have big games. It’s gonna be a blowout one way or another.  

Rain Dancer vs Big Blows - Rain Dancer is on a 3 game winning streak and needs Eli Manning, who is definitely better than Mark Sanchez, to have a big game because Fred Jackson and Frank Gore have some tough matchups. The Big Blows have their best lineup out there as Jordy Nelson and Jonathan Stewart look on their way out.

Fumble/Mumble vs Team Kent - Losing Chris Johnson to bye week will be difficult for Fumble/Mumble but Team Kent is inadvisably starting Rashard Mendenhall who is hurt and probably won’t do much this week. Should be a close game.

So hear is a Week 7 look:

Big Blows vs. Fumble Mumble: The future father in law vs the future son in law. Does the son in-law let his father in law win to gain favor? What will happen to the engagement if the father in law loses?  Is there a mysterious person making moves for father in law behind the scenes? Do the women involved in this situation even care? This would make for the worst romantic comedy movie ever. I’m gonna call it “The Waiver Wire.”

Team Kent: Big Ben’s Life Coaches - Kent is projected for 133 and Lifecoaches 75. Is 133 even possible without Brady? Is it possible for CJ Spiller to make history by being on a bye week and still scoring points? We will see.

Mono Peligroso vs. Team Boys Club - Vick’s on a bye and Hillis is out. It’s now up to Doug Baldwin and Jackie Battle to come through for Peligroso. That is the first time anyone has said that sentence ever. Boys Club has 6 normal starters on bye this week so Drew Brees and Adrian Peterson will need to dominate the points and hopefully someone else will step up.

Brookdale Mall vs. Kardiac Kidz - Brookdale’s on a 3 game winning streak but has some unproven running backs in this weeks and looks to be over .500 against a struggling Kidz team that was hurt by their #1 pick being out for the year Week 2. Will someone on the Kidz make a move to save this team? Will there be a trade or a Waiver Wire pick up to turn this around?

Levanger’s Bangers vs. Rain Dancer - I’m gonna go ahead and say that these 2 don’t like each other. I’m gonna go ahead and say that after this week is over these 2 will meet somewhere halfway in the Twin Cities and shake hands like Jim Harbaugh and Jim Schwartz did last week. Which one will untuck their shirt? Which one will uncomfortably bump shoulders with the other and transfer all the blood platelets in their body to their face? I like to imagine that when they meet after this week they will both be wearing headsets and khakis.

I'm going to end this as one of my sons is sitting next to me and reading a book that has "Lonely" in big letters in the title. Have a good week!

Bye Bye Bye!!!!!

Holla!

It’s the first bye week which to me is kind of like the first day of spring. Everything is the same yet everything looks and feels different. While you are pondering that philosophically bankrupt thought, I’m on to bigger and better things. What would that be you ask? That is what you are asking right? I mean at this point in my commisionership I’m assuming that everyone clicks on the link to the blog say “What is that guy doin next?” I’m like the Lady Gaga of fantasy football blogs. The analogy works because I’m explosively creative and because I wear a meat suit while I type these.

The answer to the question buried in the paragraph above is that I’m watching the Ohio State vs Nebraska game. It’s quite the game as when I started Ohio State was up by 21 and now they are down by 7. Donovan McNabb just clicked “like” next to this game on Facebook.

Anyway, Ohio State and Nebraska have a long history of winning teams. Ohio State has won 7 national championships, won 7 Rose Bowls and 36 Conference titles and in 2010 only lost once the entire season. With their star QB Terrelle Pryor coming back the next year things were looking up when it was discovered before the Sugar Bowl that five players including Pryor had violated NCAA guidelines for trading memorobilia and equipment for tattoos at a local tattoo parlor. What was worse is that Jim Tressell, the head coach had know about it for about a year and did not report the violations to the OSU compliance office. This brought about a firestorm of negative media leading to Tressell’s resignation, suspensions for the players, and vacating winning 2011 season.

This is not uncommon in college football and in many cases the violations of NCAA rules have been even more serious. Like in the case of SMU in the 80s, boosters bribed high school kids to commit to play for SMU, including NFL legend Eric Dickerson. SMU eventually destroyed the entire football program which resulted in 2 entire seasons being canceled and the following years not even able to field a football team to compete as they lost 55 scholarships over 4 years. Let’s face it NCAA Division 1 football and baskeball are professional sports where the product is amateurs. It’s like a for profit business where the employees live and eat in the companies building but are ultimately volunteers. The intention of the NCAA is right but the execution is wrong just about the time that TV contracts and game attendance gets involved.

The good news is professional players don’t have these problems right? Well yes, they don’t need to care about accepting money or talking with agents because that is now a large part of their job. It doesn’t stop them from upping the ante on delinquency and overall creepiness. I mean there is no way that highly paid professionals with an image and advertising revenue at stake could risk it all to be involved in a fight that eventually killed someone. Or renting a boat to turn Lake Minnetonka into Lake Havasu. Or doing anything that would involve the word “Whizzinator” or “domestic dispute.” Right now I have 2 fantasy teams and I can pick out five key players on those teams whose job application to a Chick fil a would be shredded because of what we in the hood like to refer to as “priors.”

Kenny Britt - one count of reckless driving and two counts of resisting arrest. (Is it possible to resist arrest twice during one stop? He can show you.) He was playing well this year until he was injured for the year.

Michael Vick – I’m not going into details because it was all over the news and a description would include the word heinous and creepy multiple times. 2 year prison term. Just signed a huge deal with Nike and with the Eagles.

Cam Newton – During is stint at Auburn, evidence came to light that his dad had solicited colleges to get large sums of money in return for Cam playing at their school. He was ineligible for 3 days and won a national championship. He is now a candidate for NFL rookie of the year. I’m starting him this week.

Santonio Holmes – This list may have also been Ike Turner’s resume in the 70s.

2006 – Disorderly conduct, domestic violence, assault

2008- Drug Possession

2010 – Threw a glass at someone in a nightclub. Not initially charged with anything but the case is reopened. Got kicked off an airplane for refusing to turn of his iPOD

Dez Bryant – Improper contact with Deion Sanders during college(This sounds incredibly funny as I type this). Anytime you have Deion Sanders as an adviser you know somewhere you took a really wrong turn. Also took hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry and allegedly did not pay for it. Case has supposedly being settled. He’s the #1 wide receiver on the Cowboys currently.

Brandon Marshall – I’m afraid to type this one just in case he googles his name and randomly this blog appears.  Assault of a police officer, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, DUI, illegal lane change (?), no liscense and registration (look out!), misdemeanor battery. Not of his doing, his wife allegedly stabbed him in the stomach and was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.  All joking aside, in his case an exception needs to be made as he has been diagnosed with borderline personaliy disorder and is seeking treatment. There have been no other incidents since he started treatment.

Ultimately what’s bothersome about me talking about this subject is this is a game. It’s a game that is designed for kids to play and is supposed to be for kids to watch athletes performing at the peak of their physical capabilities and talent. Yet, since kids have no money, it’s designed now for adults who love and loved sports back when they remember it as a simple game. For the most part, it’s designed for sports geeks (a distinction I plan to talk about in another post). With the kind of coverage we have of sports now it’s difficult for me to endorse with my viewership to my kids sports that are predominantly positive but make questionable ethical decisions and adopt scrupulous tactics to maintain popularity. Whether it’s politics or movies and television or religious leaders or sports when you marry celebrity with large sums of money it’s very easy to simultaneously break laws and rules and maintain your career with punishments being incredibly light relative to any lower or middle class bloke   committing the same infractions. You can blame Roger Goodell or special interest groups or the media but they aren’t the ones that sit through the ads before and after every kickoff, every halftime. They aren’t the ones on ESPN.com or buying the jerseys or tickets. In a way, we’ve perpetuated a subculture that champions productivity over ethics and benefit over cost.  Hopefully, this subculture does not become the culture.

On that note a crazy whacky video!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are ¼ of the way into the regular season and here are the standings. 

Let’s look at the matchups this week.

Levanger’s Bangers vs. Team Boys Club – Much like Kanye West, the Bangers are back after a tough 2010. They took down their archrivals Peligroso last week and won the non-optional, unabashedly corporte GMC sponsored Never Say Never award last week. “GMC :  Our 2050 business plan:  You will be forced to live in your truck because the apocalypse has leveled all buildings and cars except ours. Our patented scavenger cam will help you identify and neutralize trespassers before they sneak up on your to steal your remaining Chef Boyardee cans. GMC: surviving the apocalypse. ” Team Boys Club is going to keep the streak alive as the last remaining undefeated team. Worst to first so far.

Kardiac Kidz vs. Big Ben’s Lifecoaches – It’s been a tough low-scoring year for the Kidz and Bill Hall hope to get some solace by winning his fantasy Ohio St. vs Michigan game against his son Chris Hall whose top scorer was Greg Olsen last week which tells you how he did.

Big Blows vs. Brookdale Mall – The Blows dominated the reigning champ last week and look to continue against Brookdale who was starting to look like the Brookdale mall itself but got his first win last week thanks to consistent performances all around by his players.

Rain Dancer vs We Don’t Fumble We Mumble: Brother in law vs future brother in law as Rain Dancer hopes to say “welcome to the family” with a punch in the face in the form of Chris Johnson this week. Fumble Mumble has a 2010 lineup that has been playing likeit’s 2015 and they are all past their prime. Hopefully he can get something out of the 2010 all stars.

Team Kent vs Mono Peligroso – Will Beanie Wells come through for Team Kent? Should anyone named Beanie even be given a football in the NFL? These are questions that will be answered this week as Team Kent wipes away the tears from the first loss last week and tries to overcome the bye and the loss of Rashad Mendenhall. Peligroso hopes to get over .500 and use Mendenhall’s handcuff Isaac Redman to beat Team Kent over the head incessantly and avenge his 1 point loss in the championship. Revenge is best served cold or in this case in the form of a former Golden Gopher.

Everybody have a great week!

Dogs and Cats Living Together

Hellooooo, is it me your looking foooor?

It’s week 4 and a I’m not sure what to say anymore. We’ve somehow ended up on some alternate universe or we are trapped in a vortex that has flipped all conventional knowledge on it’s head. For your viewing pleasure take a look at the standings in the NFL so far:



That’s right this is 2011 and not 1992. The Bills are on top. The Lions are undefeated. Oakland and the Browns are legit. The Redskins are winning with Rex Grossman. Tom Brady is throwing multiple interceptions and wearing women’s shoes. Adrian Peterson get’s the ball 5 times in the 2nd half. Chad Henne looks like a QB. Tavaris Jackson has a contract with an NFL team. Delmon Young is hitting homeruns on a legitimate playoff team. Gene Simmons is married. Biff is the richest, most powerful person in the world and the McFlys are his servants.  Basically this:

http://youtu.be/O3ZOKDmorj0

Same goes for our league as the last place team (Boys Club) is undefeated. So, as commissioner, I’ve given up. I can know longer be counted on in this brave new world to fulfill my duties. So I’ve decided to pass my duties on to my 5 year old son, Isaac to preview this week. While we’re at it since it’s “opposite day” for the entire world, all the time...why not make some money on it. So below is Isaac’s picks for each NFL game this week. Call your bookie, call Vegas, call your friends. It’s time to make some money:



I’ve also asked him to pick who he thinks will win for each game in our league. So he’s picked the winner and then his reasoning. Here it is below:

Team Kent vs Big Blows - Big Blows - “Is that a tornado? I have a fire truck which has a blaster that throws grenades.“

Fumble Mumble vs Boys Club -  Fumble Mumble -” Kids wearing football helmets would be crazy.”

Rain Dancer vs. Kardiac Kidz -Rain Dancer - “ Indians give you more food and build more tents.”

Brookdale Mall vs Lifecoaches - Life Coaches - “I like the football helmet. Owen are you crashing my trucks?”

Mono Peligroso vs Levangers Bangers - Levangers Bangers -  “I like the explosion one because if the other team has a monkey that would be silly. “

Take heed. This is our new reality.May God help us all. Enjoy your week.

Favorite Things

How’s everyone’s weekend? I spent my weekend working busily working away on a yard that takes as much as it gives. It’s getting colder and it’s dry and I’m not sure why but living things like plants and grass are rating this 1 stars out of 5. I was laboring away at what seems to be my second job during warm weather and removing a large amount of weeds from the cracks in our driveway. While violently hacking at the weeds I uncovered a thousands of ants. It appears that an entire civilization of ants decided to live in the dirt in a crack in our driveway and much like Godzilla or Killer Tomatoes I have upended their way of life and sent their community into mass hysteria. How would I calm the masses down? Get the bottle of bug stop of course.

While napalming the ant equivalent of NYC in deadly poison (anticide?) , I got to thinking about fantasy football. I must give the ants credit, once I started doing this it was clear that had emergency measures for such an occasion. They dispatched a military unit bent on destroying the enemy and it hurt. While they were doing their patriotic duty and attempting to render me limb from limb, it occurred to me that I haven’t talked about prizes for this year.

For everyone who likes story resolution, I did survive with my limbs intact. I’m not typing this by breathing through a straw. I was able to disarm the ant equivalent to Will Smith and Randy Quaid as the were ripping apart my ankles and presumably digging a hole in my neck to get to my nervous system. Without further ado let’s get this started!!!!!!

Much like Oprah’s favorite things episode (everyone here watches Oprah right?....like every day right? LOVE George Clooney) I’m upping the ante. As I type this I picture everyone in front a computer jumping up and uncontrollably dancing and shaking or uncontrollably bawling. That’s what fantasy football is all about! Hopefully I can up the ante like every year like she does although at this point I think next year’s is basically going to be that everyone in the audience gets their own (Get it? OWN!!!) network talk show, a leer jet, a unicorn, and Taylor Swift’s new perfume (why does Ryan know so much about Taylor Swift or perfume?). 

Anyway I hope you like it. I kept the gift receipt and you can take it back if you need to:

1st place - $30 gift card + ESPN the Magazine subscription +British Knights - That’s right not only is the money increase but you get ESPN the Magazine. This magazine also includes ESPN Insider let’s you into a secret society where you can know all the information that a 5 networks and a 24 hour TV network dedicated to over-analysis of sports won’t tell you. It may or may not help you with FF next year. AND then of course British Knights shoes because it was my dream as a child to go on Nickelodeon’s Double Dare and win the obstacle course which always had a pair of British Knights high tops for a prize...it was the eighties. Will I really give shoes as a prize? It’s anyone’s guess at this point.

2nd place - $15 gift card+ ESPN the magazine subscription - To the second place team goes a second place prize. If you want BK shoes you better go to Payless.

Highest scorer -$10 gift card - Knock, knock...who’s there? Alexander Hamilton, that's who

Consolation - $5 gift card - You can console yourself with a five...five dollar...five dollar footlong. May I suggest the “too little to late” on wheat with extra loser.
8th seed - You get the 8th seed in the playoffs. Shouldn’t that be enough for you? Does everything always have to be about you? “What am I  going to get after I finish 8th out of 12 teams”?
Last place -  You get to stand at the end of my driveway next summer and offer retribution to the ants I annihilated. Truth is that I haven’t thought about this one yet. I’m going to think it through and get back to you.

On to the matchups:




Mono Peligroso vs Fumble/Mumble - There is lots of P’s and Q’s and O’s out there and one big one will be Peyton Hillis who is and “O”. This does not stand for overrated, but maybe it should. Actually that may be a big loss for Peligroso who keeps the regular season streak alive at 8 straight wins. He may also need to keep an eye on Vick too as he viciously head butted his own lineman last week. Fumble/Mumble isn’t in much better shape as he’s got some substantial D’s and Q’s and needs something/anything from Chris Johnson who is averaging 4 million dollars a point this year so far.
Big Ben’s Life Coaches vs Rain Dancer - The Life Coaches must have been laughing maniacally after seeing Romo get broken ribs last week (he’s a Redskins fan) but not really having alternatives for this week. The Cowboys play the Redskins this week. Rain Dancer tops the league in Points Against so far this year and leaving Fred Jackson and 120 points on the bench last week.
Brookdale Mall vs Team Kent - Much like the team’s namesake, Brookdale Mall has severely underachieved so far. But looks good on paper. After diving into the free agency market this week he hopes to get a win. Team Kent is 2-0 after winning a the GMC Never Say Never closest fantasy game last week. This is brought to you by our inadvertent sponsor GMC. GMC...everything we make is friggin huge.
Boys Club vs Kardiac Kidz - The team with the #1 spot in the draft is 2-0. Drew Brees is being all Drew Breesy and Adrian Peterson is being all Adrian Petersony. She’s hoping the rest of her team can be consistent as the list of names sounds like last years free agent list.
Levangers Bangers vs Big Blows: The Bangers have the second highest Points Against and the second highest Points For in the league and are subsequently 1-1. If he’s going to keep that up he’s going to need something better from Schaub who is supposed to have a shoot out with New Orleans. Hopefully he throws a ball that inadvertently clocks NO defensive coordinator Greg Williams in the head. (I need closure!) For the Big Blows they are 1-1 with a strong showing in a loss last week thanks to Desean Jackson switching jerseys with Jeremy Maclin. Both teams have an Eagles wide receiver. Will Vick pass to Jackson or Maclin...or maybe Mike Quick or Mark Wahlberg will take the field. We’ll see.


The 2011 Superbowl Shuffle week 3 is at hand. Now get out there and win!

Week 2 reaction

Ballers!

What’s happenin? How was week 2?

Comment on it below. Hit the link that say comment to leave one. Here I’ll start:

Dear Vikings, thank you for kicking field goals this year, in general scoring points, and forcing teams to punt once in a while. Now it’s time to get in shape and learn the playbook. We can’t blame Bryant McKinnie, Brett Favre, or Brad Childress anymore.

Also sorry to Kardiac Kidz for losing a top 10 running back to a first down mat and a team mascot. I wish I was kidding. Look at this:

No crazy gang tackle, no leading with the helmet, no cleats stuck in the grass, no contact at all. Too bad.
Comment away about this last week. There was too much weirdness and injuries to not have a story or two about this week. Also trophies and prizes for the team with the most comments/messages this year.

Week 2 preview

Team Kent vs. Rain Dancer: So the reigning champion still has some mojo and passed it on to his #1 pick Tom Brady. In addition to having a historic 517 yards passing last week. He made headlines this week by telling fans to get lubed up before the game so that that New England fans would be raucous for the game at home. But I happen to have some inside information that he really wants the men to get lubed up because there is a better chance that they would talk themselves into buy these before the game. You be the judge. Let’s hope he doesn’t decide to wear them during the game. Rain Dancer has a strong receiving core and should expect a better performance from Ben Roethlisberger this week...or he may just go out there without an offensive line to give himself more time to pass.

Kardiac Kidz vs. Fumble/Mumble: The Kidz had a tough week last week scoring 49 points but looks to have Phillip Rivers and Jamaal Charles perform like their old selves. I need to have Jamaal Charles step it up...if anyone is listening please let Jamaal Charles get some TDs...I’m definitely not asking because I have a league were there is money as stake...I don’t have a problem...I can quit any time. Much like the Lakers in playoffs last year, The Kidz desperately need a rebound. And it will be against Fumble/Mumble who will need some help from an underperforming Chris Johnson after losing Steven Jackson due to his regularly scheduled injury break. Let’s hope that Matthew Stafford decides to cancel his annual injury vacation this year.

Big Blows vs. Mono Peligroso - Aaron Rodgers is a man! He drives a Dodge Stratus! I didn’t see last weeks game as I chose to stare blankly out my window in a dark room while listening to Tears for Fears “Everybody Wants to Rule The World” rather than have to witness the Vikes 2 rivals not play defense. Big Blows plans on having a repeat performance and for LeGarrette Blount and Knowshon Moreno show up to play against Michael Vick, Kenny Britt, and Santonio Holmes or as I like to call them, the “Folsom Prison All Stars.” Peligroso has kept his winning ways and might as well be wearing a worn out Patriots hoodie at this point. Will this be a dynasty? We’ll see

Boys Club vs Big Ben’s Life Coaches: I know that I’m risking a jinx here but Boys Club made good on my grade “AAA+” rating her draft last week scoring 128 points with Brees, AP, the Ravens ridiculous defense, and Wes Welker who sold his soul in order to become a real life Tecmo Bowl character. He scored 29 points and may not have been tackled the entire game. I’m not bitter. As for Big Ben’s Life Coaches, I’m not sure if how a Redskins fan drafted Tony Romo and could sleep soundly the rest of his life but I have a feeling it was so he could have the pleasure of benching him. Also this may be the first time this has been said in 4 years but it can be argued that Chad Ochocinco won last weeks game. His 1 reception that probably came after Brady was bored with passing to everyone else scored 1 point which ended up being the difference. Congrats GMC Never Say Never Week 1 winner. Queue Bob Seger’s “Like A Rock”. Let’s hope we never have to have Chad Ochocinco decide the fate of anything ever again.

Bangers vs Brookdale Mall: Can you score 103 points and lose? You definitely can last week with massive amounts of offense in almost every game. 3 other teams would have beat Levangers Bangers last week with that point total. With Ray Rice and Darren McFadden looking good the Bangers hope that Schaub figures something out this week and actually passes to his own team more. He will face Brookdale Mall which produced what will now be known as a “Donovan McNabb” last week. Looks good on paper...and by paper I mean toilet paper. 65 points last week, but in looking at his moves and who he’s starting should be a force. Had his same lineup for this week started last week he would have scored 111 points. Of course that’s like saying if the Vikings would have signed Rex Grossman we would have had 300 more yards than McNabb did last week. It’s all shoulda woulda coulda and in the end we would have had Rex Grossman...this court is adjourned. Take a look at this link of the leading scorers last week and look at how many are still free agents: Week 1 Scoring leaders. 

Scary.

Here is hoping you all have a good Sunday. Hope to see you in the mesage boards or in the blog comments.

Nu Thangs

Hey ho

So we’re through with the first week of the year. Is FF all new again or is it like we never left?

I’m personally happy so far with this years draft and with this years first week and the waiver wire. Everyone had a solid draft this year which means that it’s not a matter of what place you were in or what kind of insider knowledge someone had but rather who performs, who gets injured and how the waiver is played. We’ve definitely have some improved parity which will hopefully make each week more exciting.

So I’m hoping to both make Sundays and the rest of the week not only more exciting but more social. I plan to post on the blog more and not only that but my plan is to open up the message board even more and give an award to the most social of socialites on the board. I will take all the best of the message board postings whether on the matchup smack boards, the main message board, and the comments on the blog and post them on Tuesdays or Wednesdays.

(I just want to give everyone a side note related to this:  I’ve learned from experience that if you are not a part of the league that you are talking/bragging/complaining about your stories about your Arian Foster problem or close you were to winning if Darren McFadden would have just had a few more carries get met with the same stare that Forrest Gump has when Bubba talks about shrimp ("Andre Johnson, Stevie Johnson,Chris Johnson, Calvin Johnson...) . Only Forrest has that stare all the time and I'm pretty sure he was always listening . So please share with us, we’ll understand)

Also, I’m going to do some live message boarding of a few games this year. I’m hoping people will want to participate live and contribute to the conversation. My live posting of games will involve game commentary and league commentary. I’m hoping that is fun.

Apparently there is an automatic award that is given every week now to the winner of the game with the closest score. This is sponsored by GMC. And by sponsored I mean GMC is giving money to ESPN to do this. Phone calls to ESPN to get my cut of the money have been left unreturned. Still good to see that you have a chance to earn a star each week. What’s in it for you if you have the most stars? Well right now nothing but over the years I’m sure there will be. You get 3 stars if you win it all and the other star awards vary based on the award.

I still want to evalute, speculate, postulate, formulate, discombobulate,  integrate, salivate, serate, berate, Ben Tate, relate, magistrate,  permeate and communicate our league preview each week. We’ll see how it goes.

Finally, I have some cool ideas for prizes this year. I’m trying to continue to up the ante, raise the stakes. Incentives help with league member investment however I think what makes everyone more invested is the fun of being able to compete with friends and family.


Anyway, I’m doin a Nu Thang :

What I love is this kid’s upper torso length to leg length ratio is so out of proportion that I’m not sure how he is coordinated enough even if he’s mailing in his imitation Christian hip-hop moves.  He reminds me of me in the video because at that age I was mostly legs and huge feet. I looked like a cartoon character.

Any stories from last Sunday or commentary on the coming week? Put it in the comments now!