Bye Bye Bye!!!!!

Holla!

It’s the first bye week which to me is kind of like the first day of spring. Everything is the same yet everything looks and feels different. While you are pondering that philosophically bankrupt thought, I’m on to bigger and better things. What would that be you ask? That is what you are asking right? I mean at this point in my commisionership I’m assuming that everyone clicks on the link to the blog say “What is that guy doin next?” I’m like the Lady Gaga of fantasy football blogs. The analogy works because I’m explosively creative and because I wear a meat suit while I type these.

The answer to the question buried in the paragraph above is that I’m watching the Ohio State vs Nebraska game. It’s quite the game as when I started Ohio State was up by 21 and now they are down by 7. Donovan McNabb just clicked “like” next to this game on Facebook.

Anyway, Ohio State and Nebraska have a long history of winning teams. Ohio State has won 7 national championships, won 7 Rose Bowls and 36 Conference titles and in 2010 only lost once the entire season. With their star QB Terrelle Pryor coming back the next year things were looking up when it was discovered before the Sugar Bowl that five players including Pryor had violated NCAA guidelines for trading memorobilia and equipment for tattoos at a local tattoo parlor. What was worse is that Jim Tressell, the head coach had know about it for about a year and did not report the violations to the OSU compliance office. This brought about a firestorm of negative media leading to Tressell’s resignation, suspensions for the players, and vacating winning 2011 season.

This is not uncommon in college football and in many cases the violations of NCAA rules have been even more serious. Like in the case of SMU in the 80s, boosters bribed high school kids to commit to play for SMU, including NFL legend Eric Dickerson. SMU eventually destroyed the entire football program which resulted in 2 entire seasons being canceled and the following years not even able to field a football team to compete as they lost 55 scholarships over 4 years. Let’s face it NCAA Division 1 football and baskeball are professional sports where the product is amateurs. It’s like a for profit business where the employees live and eat in the companies building but are ultimately volunteers. The intention of the NCAA is right but the execution is wrong just about the time that TV contracts and game attendance gets involved.

The good news is professional players don’t have these problems right? Well yes, they don’t need to care about accepting money or talking with agents because that is now a large part of their job. It doesn’t stop them from upping the ante on delinquency and overall creepiness. I mean there is no way that highly paid professionals with an image and advertising revenue at stake could risk it all to be involved in a fight that eventually killed someone. Or renting a boat to turn Lake Minnetonka into Lake Havasu. Or doing anything that would involve the word “Whizzinator” or “domestic dispute.” Right now I have 2 fantasy teams and I can pick out five key players on those teams whose job application to a Chick fil a would be shredded because of what we in the hood like to refer to as “priors.”

Kenny Britt - one count of reckless driving and two counts of resisting arrest. (Is it possible to resist arrest twice during one stop? He can show you.) He was playing well this year until he was injured for the year.

Michael Vick – I’m not going into details because it was all over the news and a description would include the word heinous and creepy multiple times. 2 year prison term. Just signed a huge deal with Nike and with the Eagles.

Cam Newton – During is stint at Auburn, evidence came to light that his dad had solicited colleges to get large sums of money in return for Cam playing at their school. He was ineligible for 3 days and won a national championship. He is now a candidate for NFL rookie of the year. I’m starting him this week.

Santonio Holmes – This list may have also been Ike Turner’s resume in the 70s.

2006 – Disorderly conduct, domestic violence, assault

2008- Drug Possession

2010 – Threw a glass at someone in a nightclub. Not initially charged with anything but the case is reopened. Got kicked off an airplane for refusing to turn of his iPOD

Dez Bryant – Improper contact with Deion Sanders during college(This sounds incredibly funny as I type this). Anytime you have Deion Sanders as an adviser you know somewhere you took a really wrong turn. Also took hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry and allegedly did not pay for it. Case has supposedly being settled. He’s the #1 wide receiver on the Cowboys currently.

Brandon Marshall – I’m afraid to type this one just in case he googles his name and randomly this blog appears.  Assault of a police officer, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, DUI, illegal lane change (?), no liscense and registration (look out!), misdemeanor battery. Not of his doing, his wife allegedly stabbed him in the stomach and was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.  All joking aside, in his case an exception needs to be made as he has been diagnosed with borderline personaliy disorder and is seeking treatment. There have been no other incidents since he started treatment.

Ultimately what’s bothersome about me talking about this subject is this is a game. It’s a game that is designed for kids to play and is supposed to be for kids to watch athletes performing at the peak of their physical capabilities and talent. Yet, since kids have no money, it’s designed now for adults who love and loved sports back when they remember it as a simple game. For the most part, it’s designed for sports geeks (a distinction I plan to talk about in another post). With the kind of coverage we have of sports now it’s difficult for me to endorse with my viewership to my kids sports that are predominantly positive but make questionable ethical decisions and adopt scrupulous tactics to maintain popularity. Whether it’s politics or movies and television or religious leaders or sports when you marry celebrity with large sums of money it’s very easy to simultaneously break laws and rules and maintain your career with punishments being incredibly light relative to any lower or middle class bloke   committing the same infractions. You can blame Roger Goodell or special interest groups or the media but they aren’t the ones that sit through the ads before and after every kickoff, every halftime. They aren’t the ones on ESPN.com or buying the jerseys or tickets. In a way, we’ve perpetuated a subculture that champions productivity over ethics and benefit over cost.  Hopefully, this subculture does not become the culture.

On that note a crazy whacky video!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are ¼ of the way into the regular season and here are the standings. 

Let’s look at the matchups this week.

Levanger’s Bangers vs. Team Boys Club – Much like Kanye West, the Bangers are back after a tough 2010. They took down their archrivals Peligroso last week and won the non-optional, unabashedly corporte GMC sponsored Never Say Never award last week. “GMC :  Our 2050 business plan:  You will be forced to live in your truck because the apocalypse has leveled all buildings and cars except ours. Our patented scavenger cam will help you identify and neutralize trespassers before they sneak up on your to steal your remaining Chef Boyardee cans. GMC: surviving the apocalypse. ” Team Boys Club is going to keep the streak alive as the last remaining undefeated team. Worst to first so far.

Kardiac Kidz vs. Big Ben’s Lifecoaches – It’s been a tough low-scoring year for the Kidz and Bill Hall hope to get some solace by winning his fantasy Ohio St. vs Michigan game against his son Chris Hall whose top scorer was Greg Olsen last week which tells you how he did.

Big Blows vs. Brookdale Mall – The Blows dominated the reigning champ last week and look to continue against Brookdale who was starting to look like the Brookdale mall itself but got his first win last week thanks to consistent performances all around by his players.

Rain Dancer vs We Don’t Fumble We Mumble: Brother in law vs future brother in law as Rain Dancer hopes to say “welcome to the family” with a punch in the face in the form of Chris Johnson this week. Fumble Mumble has a 2010 lineup that has been playing likeit’s 2015 and they are all past their prime. Hopefully he can get something out of the 2010 all stars.

Team Kent vs Mono Peligroso – Will Beanie Wells come through for Team Kent? Should anyone named Beanie even be given a football in the NFL? These are questions that will be answered this week as Team Kent wipes away the tears from the first loss last week and tries to overcome the bye and the loss of Rashad Mendenhall. Peligroso hopes to get over .500 and use Mendenhall’s handcuff Isaac Redman to beat Team Kent over the head incessantly and avenge his 1 point loss in the championship. Revenge is best served cold or in this case in the form of a former Golden Gopher.

Everybody have a great week!