Hello all,
Believe it or not we’re half way through the 2013 Superbowl Shuffle regular season. It’s gone so fast Gronkowski has stopped clubbing and is playing football on an actual field. It’s gone so fast, Percy Harvin is practicing and is 1 week away from complaining about his quarterback. . It’s gone so fast, somebody two hand touched Demarco Murray and now he’s injured again. It’s gone so fast there’s a new iPhone AND an new iPad out. It’s gone so fast anything from 2010 is now considered retro (skinny jeans, Justin Bieber, Shake Weight, this blog) It’s gone so fast, some sucker GM took a flyer on Josh Freeman.
Either I have whatever that guy had in the movie “Momento” or I’m getting old but I can’t even list out the major milestones in the NFL so far this season. Peyton Manning plays for team Papa Johns maybe? Has Miles Austin retired? I seriously don’t know. This has happened to me in more than just this league.
So while I was cleaning yesterday I found some of the stuff we’ve hidden away. Some of this stuff I haven’t looked at in 10-15 years. One of the things I broke out for my son Isaac was my card collection. I’m sure I started collecting these when I his age. I wasn’t a big collector but I was big into sports. I was a sports geek no doubt and collecting cards was an extension of this.
I had the normal baseball cards but I also extensively collected football and basketball cards. My most valuable cards (Lawrence Taylor and Jerry Rice rookie) are football cards. This brought me back to buying the packs and never knowing what you’d get inside. Having to wipe of the residue of bubble gum since they still included bubblegum in them. I even tried to sell them at garage sales.
This was a helpful way to jog my memory but it wasn’t enough. There was plenty I never remembered. Like for some reason I have golf cards. That’s right, nothing beats the excitement of opening the wrapper and discovering you are a proud owner of Paul Azinger, Fuzzy Zoeller, Fred Couples, and Tom Kite cards. No need to take out a loan kids, I’m just going to hand the financial counselor this Craig Stadler card and you’ll be set.
But that’s not all, I also discovered I have WWE wrestling cards. What possible stats would be on the back of these? Did you say none? How did you know?
And finally I have Yo! MTV Raps cards. That’s right I have cards for early 90’s rappers. I’ll trade you my 3rd Bass card for your Biz Markie card. Pop goes the weasel cause the weasel goes pop!
So here’s the standings as of this week:
Standings
Below is the Power rankings for this week. To note, the previous is from 2 weeks ago thanks due to my mid season siesta. I’ve also given a mid season breakdown for each team. Hope you like it. Let the BCS type debate begin!
Power Rankings
1 Savannah Pickles - A quarter of this league is brother’s in law. This one’s making a serious run for 2013 MVBIL (Most Valuable Brother In Law) with a strong showing the first 6 weeks with the resurgence of Matthew Stafford and LeSean McCoy. And watch out for Jordy Nelson now that injuries to the Green Bay receiver core have left him at the #1 spot. Watch out everybody.
2 Big Blows - Unlike the Baltimore Ravens, this defending champ picked up where he left off last year and has done so with a 3 wide receiver set, Ryan from the Office, and a guy whose parents actually named him Knowshon. Will he be able to survive the rest of the regular season with 3 teams hot on his trail.
3 Levanger's Bangers - These guys are like MN sports teams. Even in the down years MN sports teams are still competitive. Sometimes that means winning just enough to beat a desperate Redskins team when you had a chance at getting the 2nd pick in the draft which would have been RG# and then in the meantime seriously injuring your star player. Hey at least we won that meaningless game with Christian Ponder at the helm. I’m not bitter. This is not one of those years for the Bangers as Romo, Desean Jackson, and Arian Foster are for real. Question is can Roddy White make a comeback.
4 Mono Peligroso - This is the first controversial pick as there are 2 other teams with a better record ranked lower. But because he’s got a substantial “Points For” right now in comparison to those with a better record, he made #4. I vote we make this guy change his name to the New England Patriots. This is the first dynasty team of the SS league and, like Bill Belichek or that Bear Grylls guy, he makes due with what’s available to him. . (Coincidentally he dresses like both of them too). Currently He’s got 5 of his 9 players on his starting lineup picked off the waiver wire. That’s a “I have a volleyball that I talk to like a human being” type of survival mode.
5 Let's Get Physical - Another B-in law, I predict this team will go on a run. I have 5 reasons to think so. Rivers, Lacy, Bryant, Decker, Thomas. That’s either a shady injury law firm or a formula for fantasy success this year.
6 Spatula City Spatulas - Maybe getting bounced to middle of the pack with a 4-2 record will create a large divot on the shoulder of this owner. The “Points for” is lower and the “Points Against” is lower too. This basically means there’s a fork in the road here. Does this team start producing points or does this team start meeting up with teams who will produce against them. One thing I know is like tryptophan, from top to bottom it has sleeper picks written all over it. Also it wins the Longest Yard award for most suspensions in a starting lineup. Accepting the award for the team are Josh Gordon and Justin Blackmon. Congrats!
7 Team Boy's Club - This team started the season as a TD dependent team and in large part still is. They’ve navigated to a winning record even with a lower “Points For” so far thanks to Russell Wilson. Will they stay winning with key injuries to Randall Cobb and Steven Jackson. Let’s see if anyone else steps up.
8 Replacement Refs - This team had a strong start and when Brady and AP slowed down so did the team. With Gronk back and B-Marsh on top of his game this team has the star power to make the jump back to the top. This team won’t stay 3-3 for long.
9 Team Kent - This team is crazy. First this team is 1-5. So why is this guy # 9? Well, this team has the 2nd highest “Points For” in the league but also has the highest “Points Against” in the entire league by 33 points. Talk about bad matchups so far. If there’s anything I know about PA and PF is there is always a correction. I feel back for whatever team has to face him in the 2nd half of the season. Someone will have to pay for this. Glad it’s not me. Good luck with all that!
10 Rain Dancer - I will name this team the “I should have but didn’t pan out” All Stars. One team every year seems to harbor all the top underperforming players for the year so that other teams don’t have to keep them on their lineup. Rain Dancer is the warehouse for this right now. I think you all should pay a membership fee to this team for storing these guys for the year. Somebody will bounce back though.We’ll see.
11 Team Cantona - Tough “Luck” for this team. Am I right? Get it?.... see what I did there?.....I feel sick. Rookie of the year last year has fallen on hard times this season even with a strong start to 2013 for Jamaal Charles. Greg Jennings could be benefiting from a new QB. And Ruben Randle has the talent to get them back on track
12 Hernandez's Silver Bullets- Can’t say this isn’t a familiar place for this team. However this year he’s got a solid PF and the second highest PA. This ratio can and will correct itself. It’s just a matter of how much. No team with Drew Brees and Wes Welker could possible stay in the basement all season right?.....Am I right?....Is this mic on?....
Hopefully you are enjoying the power rankings. Keep in mind they are designed to identify the strongest teams for the rest of the season. And if you had a problem with my rankings, you can do 2 things:
1. Use 1800-Collect to reach someone who cares (I’m kidding! (Not Kidding) no really I’m kidding)
2. Just see how ESPN decided to rank the teams based on their proprietary “formula.” A 1-5 team is number 2 in the power rankings and there are 4 teams with a 500 or better record in the bottom 6. ESPN may need find a different formula in Excel ASAP (vlookup maybe?). See below:
Well that wraps this weekHope everybody is having a good Sunday! Good luck to all!
Ryan
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