Sunday, September 29, 2013

2013 Week 4

‘Ello Guvna!  

I seen on me mobile while I’m hangin in me flat there’s a wee bit o’ American footie on the Wembley pitch wit some clubs called the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Minnesota Vikings. Blimey! These dodgy blokes got plenty of bangers and mash in ‘em an’ they spen’ all they time in a ruck wit’ one anutha in tight knckers,  wit a ball that looks rubbish, mate. I mean these chaps only kick the ball a few times each match an they got scores wit double digit goals and when the clock runs out of time the game actually ends! Cheeky Monkeys!


Wha is a field goal anyway? In real football every bloddy goal is a field goal. Next thing ya know I’ll find out they don’t even have a spot of tea wit jam and bread between periods and don’t act like they just got shot in the leg every time a player is touched.


I’m absolutely sure they would never have long sections in the game where nothing really happens and everyone has lost a half an hour of their lives as a result like we do. And there’s no way their fans are so off one’s trolley they get knackered and fight with each other, and riot in the streets after a big win….Wait they do? Me and me mate may need to jump in a lorrey and pop in to this match to learn more bits n bobs about this game.


If Wayne Rooney was on one of these teams he would give all these blokes a good rogering and leave Ben Roethlisberger and Adrian Peterson snookered. Tossers! Maybe we can grab a pint and some fish and chips at the pub before we go and watch.  An’ then these American wankers can pack it in and sod off! An’ don’t even get me started on this fantasy football bullocks. Blimey!


God Save the Queen!

25 Extremely British GIFs
austin powers (50) Animated Gif on Giphy
25 Extremely British GIFs
25 Extremely British GIFs
Naked Gun



Here’s the power rankings for this week:




There were quite a few big jumps both in for good and for bad. Savannah Pickles has been dealing so far this year with a dominating performance last week in being 1 of 2 teams to outscore the rest of the league by 30 and by leading the “Points For” category in the league by 50. Stafford and McCoy are back to form and since I didn’t draft Jimmy Graham in any league this year, he’s back to being the number one tight end in the league. Team Kent and Levanger’s Banger’s have also made a jump this week as this Peyton Manning kid is showing some promise and Romo and Desean Jackson have clearly figured something out. Condolences to Let’s get physical and Rain Dancer who both have RB problems but ultimately have scoring points problems. And since they are my brothers in law, they have a whole host of other problems I won’t even get into. Let’s hope they can pick it up in Superbowl Shuffle as it may be all they have going for them right now.


See the standings and the Points info below:






Here’s to everyone putting another shrimp on the barbie today!

Sunday, September 22, 2013

2013 Week 3


You guys were all around in the 90s right? I'm imagining nodding heads so I'm just going to go with it. You all remember the Matt Foley "Van Down By the River" sketch from the late Chris Farley on SNL? I remember at the time I actually didn't see the sketch when it first came out but there was a buzz around it that made me want so badly to see it. . If you can imagine, it would be about a month before I even got to see with my own eyes what the big deal was. Unless you set your VCR plus to the right code from your TV guide to record SNL every Saturday you were out of luck. 

What would have been considered "viral" back then was your friends, schoolmates, and coworkers. If you were a big fan and could stay up that late to watch every Saturday night it was exciting to be on the ground floor of latest comedy fad. Whether it was Adam Sandler's "Crazy Pickle Mustache" or "Celebrity Jeopardy" or "Bad Idea Jeans" or even "Colon Blow" you either were in the know or were part of the group who only heard about it and hoped you could get someone to record it so you could figure out what the big deal was. I still have a VCR tape of when Jim Carrey hosted SNL for the first time and I'm not erasing it. Even if he's been a bummer for the 15 years.



Well I'm certain those times are long gone with the advent of the interlinks, with it's Googler and it's Utoob. It's just the dream of everyone who loved sketch comedy, or TV, or movies, or really any media that has or will ever happen to have instant and constant access to what everyone else is talking about. Not that they are even talking about it, just forwarding or posting it, which takes little imagination and even less time to do. 

Amid the deluge of media and the buzz saturated Internet I found something that has easily been the funniest thing since the days of tuning into SNL or In Living Colour in the 90s when they always seemed to catch lightning in a bottle. 

I've now watched this 15 times I bet and it still gets me to laugh out loud. Does anyone really do that much anymore when watching anything funny? I don't. The best you can get out of me is some kind of creepy chuckle if anything's funny. Check it out:


In the intro to the video, which is not on Youtube, Key and Peele talk about how they came up with the idea when they heard the name of New York Jets left tackle D'Brickashaw Ferguson. His name sounds like what a mason would do to upgrade a bicycle cart and also exists in the Pantheon of "There's no way that's real" football player names which includes Atari Bigby, Barkevious Mingo, John David Booty, Baccari Rambo, and Akbar Gbaja-Biamila. 

I think I've said enough. Love this video, pure genius.

Let's take a look at the power rankings for this week:

Last week seemed to be the equalizer with 2 teams undefeated so far and 2 teams defeated (0-2) with the rest of the league 1-1. See the standings below:




And the scoring totals so far:




It's manifest destiny out there for playoff spots. Lots of season left to turn things around.  Good luck this week!


Monday, September 16, 2013

2013 Week 2



Hi all,

Didn't get time this week to dive into our league much. Here's the rankings for Week 2 without much explanation. Sorry for posting them so late. I promise nothing that happened in Week 2 influenced the rankings. I know you are all really worried about it, I'm sure. :)



Also here's the standings so far.




See you all next week

Sunday, September 8, 2013

2013 Week 1

Hey all,

I'm rejuving the blog thing that I went away from last year. That being said I think my ability to write 5000 words each Sunday has been compromised by a lethal 3 child, housework, work work, husband schedule that continually reprioritizes my life but more importantly reprioritizes my brain. I'm shocked I've thought of this much to say so far. I do have some thoughts I'd like to get down. We'll see if it happens this year. I hope I don't disappoint.

Here's something that does not disappoint (ok maybe a little):




This year I'll set up some power rankings, not that they hold any weight but more just to provoke. Bulletin board material if you will. Here's the rankings this week:

1. Replacement Refs - AP, BMarsh, Cecil "Eat My" Shorts, TB (tuberculosis?). He had a great draft (or should I say the ESPN robot who drafted for him did?) This should pay off in some wins.
2. Team Boy's Club - This is a TD team through and through and there will be a lot of TD from each player in this lineup.
3. Team Kent- Peyton Manning all ready happened. Who knew his best performance this year wasn't going to be selling pizzas? Now I'm hungry... Calvin Johnson, MJD, Reggie Wayne...I rest my case.
4. Let's Get Physical - This is a high upside team with potential. Potential to dominant and then potential to fail. Lacy should be good...if they hand him the ball. Alfred Morris should continue from last season...if there is a passing game. Eli Manning could make the Eli face and gift wrap the football to the D or he may be brilliant. And Dez and Julio will have gigantic years if Miles Austin and Roddy White don't.
5. Rain Dancer - There is so much quality in RBs this team may have been #2 in this list but injuries could be an issue as RG3 is a huge question mark, AJ Green sat out the preseason, and Andre Johnson who has always looked 49 years old...actually is now
6. Savannah Pickles - The top 3 players (McCoy, Forte, and Graham) will be better this year than last year and Stafford will be solid and will have a running game now. Richardson, Wallace and Nelson are the weak spots and also are solid names for a partners in an Injury law firm.
7. Mono Peligroso - I can't deny how huge Kap, Beast Mode, and Bush will be this year. I love Tate but will he be any good without terrible refs who miss obvious end zone calls? Vereen and Sudfeld should be good this year but we're dealing with Belichek and he's grimy, sweatstained sweatshirt.
8.  Levangers Bangers - Romo shold have a big year. The rest of the team doesn't look like much of a guarantee. Foster will share carries but will be top 10. Gore has always been consistent but when will it end. Roddy White has been injured and shares the field with Jones. Smith just became an AARP member. We'll see.
9. Team Cantona - Charles is the leader here and Chris Johnson is on the comeback. Andrew Luck is supposed to be even better this year. The problem? Darren McFadden and Christian Pond...I mean Greg Jennings may put the "Can't" in Cantona
10. Big Blows  - Ryan from the Office will have a bounce back year and be the number one QB this year. Most likely because of the trash Greg Jennings is talking. Doug Martin will be great again and the WRs are very very solid. The glaring weakness is Ryan Mathews who heads up the Ryan Mathews all stars which includes him, Shonn Greene, Mark Ingram, and Darren McFadden. This honor goes to RBs who everyone eventually says "Why did I draft this guy again?"
11. Hernandez's Silver Bullets - Tie - I couldn't decide between these two teams. HSB has anchors in Brees and Ray Rice. Welker looked solid the first week but will he be the primary option every week? Then it gets dicey. Williams is all the Panthers have and Antonio Brown is all that the Steelers have but that doesn't mean much when you have to actually make plays. We'll see...
11. Spatula City Spatulas - Tie - Matt Ryan will pass a lot and Trent Richardson will run a lot. But everyone else has unrealized talent. In fact 3 of them don't even start which is an issue. This would be a great keeper league team but Week 1 there will be struggles. Maybe the rest of the year these teams will utilize this talent the way they should.

Let's have John come in here and give us some words of wisdom for this week:


Someone IS blowing a whistle, John

Have a good week everyone.

Ryan